A Look at How Cognitive Dissonance Can Impact “Christian” Identity.
the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change
Cognitive dissonance is defined as psychological conflict resulting from two or more incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously. In other words, you have two (or more) thoughts that don’t work together. For example:I want to lose weight and eat these two Whoppers…or I’m a Christian and I want to steal from my neighbor. Notice the use of “and” instead of “but” in those phrases. That’s because those beliefs and attitudes are in conflict with each other. That conflict should force people to choose one (preferably the one that does not harm self or others) and stick with it. But as most people know, that’s not what happens. People usually stay in that place of conflict or cognitive dissonance and as a result a host of problems can manifest. There can be passive aggressive behavior, anxiety issues, depression, and alcohol and drug abuse. Passive aggressive behavior as a result of cognitive dissonance can also look like something Freud called reaction formation.
Reaction formation is when a person has impulses they know they should not have and so they vehemently oppose those impulses in public. What I’m describing here is known in the church as legalism and hypocrisy. The guy who criticizes people for not being on time to church but is often late to work because “it’s just my secular job”. It’s the person who is always talking about how evil it is to view pornography while he often masturbates to mental images of the women he happens to come across in his life (including the “hot” wife of his best friend). Eventually this passive aggressive behavior of legalism and hypocrisy leads to a life that is divided. That’s when anxiety begins to build or depression starts to set in because nobody was meant to be split into parts. Drugs and alcohol are meant to treat the feelings of anxiousness and sadness the individual may experience but they only make things worse.
While I was bullying people to tears in high school, I was also serving people in love at church. I was 15 when I spoke for the first time at a youth group. I was 16 when I spoke for the first time before a packed sanctuary. I’ve been speaking and teaching from the Word of God for a majority of the last 22 years. When I was a teenager, I was constantly praised for being willing to use the gifts the Holy Spirit gave me. I encouraged older people because of my youth and I motivated my peers for the same reason. I remember being called a “leader” for the first time when I was 16. Things were going great at church…but only there. One Tuesday night I shared the gospel at a weekly ministry we had going at the chapel. We would play flag football, take a break to share the Word, and then play until the night was over. That night I was really depressed because of something that had happened at school.
I had worn a t-shirt to school that said “C.O.P.S.” in a font that was meant to resemble the television show. On the back, in really small lettering, was an acronym that I can’t remember. What I do remember is that the letter “C” stood for the word Christian. My Bully-Identity loved the shirt because it said the word COPS on the front. I thought it added to my intimidating persona. But for the first time my Bully-Identity was confronted by my Christian one. There was a girl in my high school who was known for her faith in Jesus. She was such a strong witness for Him. She loved Him a lot. I know because she NEVER stopped talking about Him. She sat behind me in biology class because our seating assignments were based on alphabetical order. The underlying reality was, that God had her sit behind me because He was going to use her to hurt me. On the day I wore that C.O.P.S. t-shirt, she tapped me on the shoulder and asked “Reggie, you’re a Christian?”. To this day those words pierce me somewhere deep in my soul. It was just a question on her part. She wasn’t trying to make me feel like crap. I felt that way because of what was going on in my heart.
That event created an intense level of cognitive dissonance that brought about the kind of sadness that could have been classified as depression. I was overeating, I was oversleeping, and I was always sad. In fact I didn’t play football that night I shared the gospel which is another symptom of depression called anhedonia or the inability to feel pleasure. I lost the ability to enjoy playing football! She really did hurt me! I only went out of obligation (it was my turn to share the Gospel) and out of a need to maintain appearances. While I was driving home from the church, I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt and shame that led me to decide that my life was not with living. I started to accelerate my car and I unbuckled my seatbelt. I knew that there was a stretch of the Florida’s Turnpike that I could easily drive my car off of. I remember thinking that it would look like I died in an accident. I remember thinking that my mom and the rest of my family would miss me but they would eventually be better off without me. The next thing I knew I was in my bed and I was crying. I honestly have little recollection as to how I got home that night.
When I got out of bed that morning, my mom asked how the message went last night and that she was praying for me to get home safely. I believe it was her prayers that night and a larger, but unknown plan by God that allowed me to have more time on this earth. Even though I was spared that evening I was going to suffer with depression and suicidal thoughts until my 28th birthday. But that suffering did something to me….it changed me…it turned me into someone else; someone who finally understood what it meant to be Abba’s Beloved.
I understand that a majority of people don’t want to be confronted about who they really are. But if you have made it this far I want to thank you with sticking with my attempts to teach and story-tell at the same time. I believe that somehow, someway, you too will achieve cognitive dissonance about your current identity and choose to lay aside that which encumbers you. In other words, I really hope that you choose Jesus and find true healing and change. If you are feeling that cognitive dissonance, I ask you to sit with it. Experience the anxiety and the sadness and even the fear. Ask God to lead you to forgiveness and healing. He will find you.
I felt the need to explain all of that because I believe that becoming one with your identity as Jesus Barabbas (see previous post) might be hard given my next proposition. In 1 Corinthians 1:10-17, Paul reports that he has been made aware of certain divisions that have been made amongst the people in Corinth. It seems Christians were starting to label themselves according to the teachings of different people like Paul himself, or Cephas, or another guy named Apollos. The strategy of divide and weaken is so good that it was actually used by God in Genesis 11. The civilization that began to prosper after the flood realized that the best way to avoid being flooded again would be to build a tower that was so high and so strong that no flood waters brought by God could ever bring it down. As God looked upon their determination and ingenuity, He decided the best way to keeping them from building their tower would be to divide them and so He confused them by creating different languages. The people were then separated, their tower was never built, and it took much longer (if ever) for them to achieve the strength they sought at the Tower of Babel.
Fast forward to the time after the Holy Spirit was poured out onto the first Church and satan sees the need to use God’s strategy. He also employs strategies he used against the people of Israel. He introduces false prophets, false teachings, false idols, and persecution. One of the many results of his techniques is creating false identities. Super fast forward to the present day and one can see evidence on these techniques in action. In my classroom I have seen people react to the Jesus Barabbas identity with false identities based on false teachings like “I’m only a sinner saved by grace”. Or false idols rear their ugly and demonic heads and sound like this “sure I’m a Son of God but I’m an American first and there’s nothing more important than protecting our freedom”. Even persecution doesn’t look right because when people talk about persecution in America they don’t talk about being persecuted for being Jesus Barabbas. They talk about being persecuted for their allegiances to false prophets (politicians and religious leaders), false teachings (political talking points), and their sin.
I believe that if you are sincere about the faith that Jesus the Anointed One Authored and Perfected which means you accept the identity He decided to bless you with as the Son of God, then you will experience Cognitive Dissonance and you will be forced to choose to live in His faith or die in a false one. There’s no time anymore for Yeshua Bar-Abbas to fight for the concerns of Southern Baptists, Presbyterians, Anglicans, Methodists, Plymouth Brethren, Republicans, Democrats, Americans, Indians, etc. That means there’s no time for arguments about Premillennialism, Amillennialism, Postmillennialism, Abortion, Gay Marriage, Marijuana, “Culture Wars”, etc. Why? Because there’s no time for division and no time for hatred and no time for huddling in small corners on a Sunday with 10,000 people who don’t feel like God sees them.
What does Yeshua Bar-Abbas have time for? Healing, prayer, forgiveness, devotion to God, serving the poor, the orphaned and the widowed. There’s really a lot more too. Once you know who you really are then you can really get to work. Think about it this way. If you’ve held a job you know what it’s like to be nervous on your first day. You don’t really know what you are supposed to do. That’s why they put you through an orientation, but that’s never enough. You really need those first few hours, maybe even a week or for some longer, before you get comfortable with your role. Once you know your role you settle in and do your job. You know what’s really sad to me? All churches have taught believers that their primary role is to sit, stand, participate, and pay. Jesus the Anointed One did not intend that model of “Church” at all. He empowered the disciples to heal diseases, cast out demons, teach with authority, and to ultimately seek and save those who were lost. He then told them to go and do the same with people from all nations. To disciple or transform people into Sons like He did with them. That is who you and I are Authored to be.
(Galatians 2:20, CSB) I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
(Colossians 3:1-3, CSB) So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
